#4 - I am not my hair?
#4 - I am not my hair?
India.Arie has a single out called “I Am Not My Hair”. Here’s the Video and Lyrics if you haven’t seen it:
INDIA.ARIE
I Am Not My Hair
[Verse 1]
Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
At fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen and went all natural
February two thousand and two
I went and did what I had to do
Because it was time to change my life
To become the women that I am inside
Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone
I looked in the mirror For the first time and saw that HEY....
[Chorus]
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I ma not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
[Verse 2]
Good hair means curls and waves
Bad hair means you look like a slave
At the turn of the century
Its time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off Like a South African beauty
Or get in on lockLike Bob Marley
You can rock it straightLike Oprah Winfrey
If its not what's on your headIts what's underneath and say HEY....
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) I am expressing my creativity. (Whoa, whoa, whoa)
[Verse 3]
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...[Chorus 2x]
----------
The first time I heard the song, I had a mixed reaction. No doubt India.Arie is very talented. She keeps her music positive and creative. I like that about her. But I gotta disagree with her on the whole “I am not my hair” thing. You ARE your hair. Its not you’re entire being, but it IS a portion. A reflection of who you are. India says, “I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am a soul that lives within”. We ARE the soul that lives within, but also the outward appearance, too. Duality is in all aspects of the human experience. Right/Wrong. Left/Right. Up/Down. Forward/Reverse. You can’t have one without the other. We are both. Inside and Outside. And I agree that the Inside takes is the more important of the two. We all strive to find that soulmate. That SOUL-mate. That person whose inner being is what truly brings you happiness.
Inner beauty is wonderful, but let’s be honest. Appearance is very important in society, too. You can’t ignore the relevance of the outside. Humans are visual creatures. And the first impressions of any person that you find attractive are going to be through visual means. If you like red hair or full lips. Big tits, thick thighs, WHATEVER it is. You are getting visual stimuli. For a lot of men, especially ME, hair is an important factor in a woman’s overall beauty.
Which brings me to my peeve about Black women and their hair. I love it when a woman wears her hair natural. Regardless of race. Preferably long, but some short styles are ok. I think of how sexy Nia Long looks with her short hair. Short or long, as long as it is YOUR hair, it’s cool with me. Curly or Straight. Dreadlocks, braids, even perms are ok. Yeah, a perm isn’t chemical free, but at least it is your own hair. When I say natural, I mean everything on the top of your head is yours. Unfortunately, putting all types of fake ass horse hair in your head is the norm for many Black women. The weaves, the tracks, the extensions, the wigs. The shit is such a turn off. It’s a turn off for me because it’s FAKE. I want a woman that is genuine. And these females get REALLY retarded with it. Two tone fuckin’ hair. Long on one side, short on the other, but fake all over. Ghetto ass hairstyles. You name it, these bitches try it. It repulses me to the extent that I find myself becoming less and less attracted to Black women. Which is fucked up for me, because I’m in a paradox. A socially conscious, Black progressive male who no longer wants to date Black women.
No, the hair thing isn’t the only factor that has brought me to this place. It’s the culmination of several things about Black women that have me turning away from my “sisters”. Yes, I know my Black history. Yes, I understand how the family unit in the Black community is falling apart. Teenage pregnancy, divorce, absentee fathers. I know our plight. At a time when we need more positive Black men to be responsible, take care of business, and create strong Black family units, I’m looking to create that unit elsewhere. It’s fucked up, but it’s the truth. And I’m trying to work through it, but I get tired of that “My brother’s keeper” shit. I’m just trying to do what is best for me. And really, that’s all I should have to do. I didn’t create the problems in my community. Generations of Black women making poor decisions on who they chose as mates and as potential fathers has led to those problems. The sister’s really know how to pick ‘em…Hell I never got much attention from Black women anyway, so why should I take the rejection? Shit, I’m getting off topic. So back to the hair. This will come up again in a future blog.
Fuck was I? Oh, yeah. Some of the hair styles that Black women are rockin’ are absolutely ridiculous. I often ask myself, “Is this what they REALLY think men are attracted too?” Black scholars often state that the reason why Black women get fake hair is to achieve European standard of beauty. A notion that does have SOME credence. But long hair isn’t something unique to White women. See the scenario usually goes something like this. Little black girls all over the world have long hair, pony tails, braids, etc until they reach about 7 or 8 and their mothers get too damn tired of dealing with their hair. I understand it can be time consuming and tedious, but shit, it’s for your daughter beauty. DAMN...So they put in some type of chemical relaxer to make it more manageable. Instead of going to a professional, they use the do it yourself home kit bought at the Korean owned beauty shop. 2 months later the little girl’s hair all breaks off. So NOW the momma takes the little girl to a salon. Too little, too late. And get fake ass hair put in. You can get real versatile with the styles and the little girls grow up into women that are accustomed to it. Accustomed to the point they would rather spend money on synthetic hair than to wear their own. I’m sure you’ve heard the comment, “It is my hair. I bought it!”. All I can say to that is, how ignorant can you be? All this could be avoided if Black women would just continue to let their hair grow and wear it natural past the age of 8. Adult Black women would have hair just as long, just as stylish as any white, Asian or Hispanic woman if they would not get lazy with shit.
All that being said, I know there are still a few Black women that would my cut. But, being that hair is such a determining physical attraction factor for me, it should be no surprise that I find myself looking at women of other ethnicities. However, I still love brown skin. So, I really find East Indian and Latino women sexy. Asian, Arab and White females as well. I know for a fact that I’m not alone in this thinking, as many other Black men share my position. So when India says, “I am not your expectation. No. No.” I disagree. Black women. Women period. You ARE my expectation. And I expect MORE than what I am getting. Have some pride in yourself. Be confident. Admire you’re beauty. Your TRUE beauty. Not the fake hair, contact wearing, breast augmented beast you see in the mirror. You have a ton of women walking around here with low self esteem. And yet, look at the decisions you have made to lower your level of beauty. Decisions that I’m sure these women thought would increase their self-esteem.
India is partly correct. You’re hair doesn’t make you a better person, a better friend or determine your integrity… But it does determine your level of allurement. That bald style she was rockin’ wasn’t working at all. She looks much better with the style in the video. I hope she keeps it growing.
And for those of you women that think I’m just being shallow, look in the mirror. Because women are just as guilty, if not MORE, of being superficial and materialistic. Think about the men that you’ve chosen to date, to fuck, to develop relationships with. What were the factors that made you commit? Honestly, was it what was inside his soul?
Liar…
India.Arie has a single out called “I Am Not My Hair”. Here’s the Video and Lyrics if you haven’t seen it:
INDIA.ARIE
I Am Not My Hair
[Verse 1]
Little girl with the press and curl
Age eight I got a Jheri curl
Thirteen I got a relaxer
I was a source of so much laughter
At fifteen when it all broke off
Eighteen and went all natural
February two thousand and two
I went and did what I had to do
Because it was time to change my life
To become the women that I am inside
Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone
I looked in the mirror For the first time and saw that HEY....
[Chorus]
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I ma not this skin
I am a soul that lives within
[Verse 2]
Good hair means curls and waves
Bad hair means you look like a slave
At the turn of the century
Its time for us to redefine who we be
You can shave it off Like a South African beauty
Or get in on lockLike Bob Marley
You can rock it straightLike Oprah Winfrey
If its not what's on your headIts what's underneath and say HEY....
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?
(Whoa, whoa, whoa) I am expressing my creativity. (Whoa, whoa, whoa)
[Verse 3]
Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy
Took away her crown and glory
She promised God if she was to survive
She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh
On national television
Her diamond eyes are sparkling
Bald headed like a full moon shining
Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...[Chorus 2x]
----------
The first time I heard the song, I had a mixed reaction. No doubt India.Arie is very talented. She keeps her music positive and creative. I like that about her. But I gotta disagree with her on the whole “I am not my hair” thing. You ARE your hair. Its not you’re entire being, but it IS a portion. A reflection of who you are. India says, “I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am a soul that lives within”. We ARE the soul that lives within, but also the outward appearance, too. Duality is in all aspects of the human experience. Right/Wrong. Left/Right. Up/Down. Forward/Reverse. You can’t have one without the other. We are both. Inside and Outside. And I agree that the Inside takes is the more important of the two. We all strive to find that soulmate. That SOUL-mate. That person whose inner being is what truly brings you happiness.
Inner beauty is wonderful, but let’s be honest. Appearance is very important in society, too. You can’t ignore the relevance of the outside. Humans are visual creatures. And the first impressions of any person that you find attractive are going to be through visual means. If you like red hair or full lips. Big tits, thick thighs, WHATEVER it is. You are getting visual stimuli. For a lot of men, especially ME, hair is an important factor in a woman’s overall beauty.
Which brings me to my peeve about Black women and their hair. I love it when a woman wears her hair natural. Regardless of race. Preferably long, but some short styles are ok. I think of how sexy Nia Long looks with her short hair. Short or long, as long as it is YOUR hair, it’s cool with me. Curly or Straight. Dreadlocks, braids, even perms are ok. Yeah, a perm isn’t chemical free, but at least it is your own hair. When I say natural, I mean everything on the top of your head is yours. Unfortunately, putting all types of fake ass horse hair in your head is the norm for many Black women. The weaves, the tracks, the extensions, the wigs. The shit is such a turn off. It’s a turn off for me because it’s FAKE. I want a woman that is genuine. And these females get REALLY retarded with it. Two tone fuckin’ hair. Long on one side, short on the other, but fake all over. Ghetto ass hairstyles. You name it, these bitches try it. It repulses me to the extent that I find myself becoming less and less attracted to Black women. Which is fucked up for me, because I’m in a paradox. A socially conscious, Black progressive male who no longer wants to date Black women.
No, the hair thing isn’t the only factor that has brought me to this place. It’s the culmination of several things about Black women that have me turning away from my “sisters”. Yes, I know my Black history. Yes, I understand how the family unit in the Black community is falling apart. Teenage pregnancy, divorce, absentee fathers. I know our plight. At a time when we need more positive Black men to be responsible, take care of business, and create strong Black family units, I’m looking to create that unit elsewhere. It’s fucked up, but it’s the truth. And I’m trying to work through it, but I get tired of that “My brother’s keeper” shit. I’m just trying to do what is best for me. And really, that’s all I should have to do. I didn’t create the problems in my community. Generations of Black women making poor decisions on who they chose as mates and as potential fathers has led to those problems. The sister’s really know how to pick ‘em…Hell I never got much attention from Black women anyway, so why should I take the rejection? Shit, I’m getting off topic. So back to the hair. This will come up again in a future blog.
Fuck was I? Oh, yeah. Some of the hair styles that Black women are rockin’ are absolutely ridiculous. I often ask myself, “Is this what they REALLY think men are attracted too?” Black scholars often state that the reason why Black women get fake hair is to achieve European standard of beauty. A notion that does have SOME credence. But long hair isn’t something unique to White women. See the scenario usually goes something like this. Little black girls all over the world have long hair, pony tails, braids, etc until they reach about 7 or 8 and their mothers get too damn tired of dealing with their hair. I understand it can be time consuming and tedious, but shit, it’s for your daughter beauty. DAMN...So they put in some type of chemical relaxer to make it more manageable. Instead of going to a professional, they use the do it yourself home kit bought at the Korean owned beauty shop. 2 months later the little girl’s hair all breaks off. So NOW the momma takes the little girl to a salon. Too little, too late. And get fake ass hair put in. You can get real versatile with the styles and the little girls grow up into women that are accustomed to it. Accustomed to the point they would rather spend money on synthetic hair than to wear their own. I’m sure you’ve heard the comment, “It is my hair. I bought it!”. All I can say to that is, how ignorant can you be? All this could be avoided if Black women would just continue to let their hair grow and wear it natural past the age of 8. Adult Black women would have hair just as long, just as stylish as any white, Asian or Hispanic woman if they would not get lazy with shit.
All that being said, I know there are still a few Black women that would my cut. But, being that hair is such a determining physical attraction factor for me, it should be no surprise that I find myself looking at women of other ethnicities. However, I still love brown skin. So, I really find East Indian and Latino women sexy. Asian, Arab and White females as well. I know for a fact that I’m not alone in this thinking, as many other Black men share my position. So when India says, “I am not your expectation. No. No.” I disagree. Black women. Women period. You ARE my expectation. And I expect MORE than what I am getting. Have some pride in yourself. Be confident. Admire you’re beauty. Your TRUE beauty. Not the fake hair, contact wearing, breast augmented beast you see in the mirror. You have a ton of women walking around here with low self esteem. And yet, look at the decisions you have made to lower your level of beauty. Decisions that I’m sure these women thought would increase their self-esteem.
India is partly correct. You’re hair doesn’t make you a better person, a better friend or determine your integrity… But it does determine your level of allurement. That bald style she was rockin’ wasn’t working at all. She looks much better with the style in the video. I hope she keeps it growing.
And for those of you women that think I’m just being shallow, look in the mirror. Because women are just as guilty, if not MORE, of being superficial and materialistic. Think about the men that you’ve chosen to date, to fuck, to develop relationships with. What were the factors that made you commit? Honestly, was it what was inside his soul?
Liar…
posted by Raven Vexation at 2:30 PM
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