#9 Zebra’s stripes
#9 Zebra’s stripes:
As I said before, part of the reason I don’t date women with kids is because I now that I would become attached to them. I’d feel guilty neglecting them, while I get ass on a regular from their momma. Granted, most men wouldn’t give a damn. But that isn’t me. See, as you folks continue to read my blog, I want you to realize that although I say some harsh shit. I’m just venting. I’m really a nice guy who’s just lonely and tired of being ignored.
On one occasion, I came close to dating a woman with kids. Let’s call her Zebra. Zebra had a really cool personality. I enjoyed her conversation and company. I was physically attracted too her as well. She dug me as well. One problem…Zebra had two kids, 6 and 7 years old. She as a few years younger than me. A single mother struggling with her own issues, and trying to support her children. Their father was a deadbeat that only occasionally provided for them. Me and Zebra grew closer and one night while visiting her, we fooled around. No sexual intercourse, but things got steamy. She was a MILF, but I resisted the temptation to go through with it. After that night, I felt a little bad about what happened. I didn’t want things to go that far so soon. I had trouble looking at her the same. Before we fooled around, I had one mental picture of her. Yet afterwards, I felt like she made it too easy for me. Maybe she was just horny, lonely and needing a release. Maybe me too. Maybe she was more comfortable doing it with me than with just some random guy. All these maybes!! Uncertainty describes that whole situation. Afterwards, I couldn’t picture her in that wholesome way that I did before that night. Do I have a right to feel that way? If she’s a ho, then I would be just as much of a ho, right?
It seemed like that night had opposite effects on us. She became more direct with her intentions for me. I on the other hand, began to distance myself from her. She would call and ask if I wanted to spend the day with her and the girls. I would get invited to picnics, and outings. Every time I was “conveniently busy”. Part of me wanted to be there. But I knew I would become trapped in the “Instant Daddy Zone”. Again, the guilty conscience was taking over. I felt selfish, yet it was the right thing to do for me. She eventually started dating a new guy. We would keep in touch, though. She would tell me how things were going with the new guy, who himself was a single father. However, his child did not live with him. So he was free to do what he pleased with other women. After a short period of dating this guy, Zebra dropped a bombshell. The two most fearful words in the English language: “I’m pregnant”. I couldn’t believe it. She had gotten pregnant by a guy she barely knew. They had only dated for a short period. Maybe 3 or 4 months. Talk about disappointment and anger. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t more responsible. She already has 2 kids, why bring a third one into this world when you are struggling so hard. I was seeing right before my eyes, what happens to so many women today. It’s the consequences of poor decisions about the men they sleep with. Remember my rule…
In typical “sorry mutha fucker” fashion, the dude bailed out. The next nine months where hell for her. He tried his best to avoid contact. Denied that he couldn’t be the father. Being the strong woman that Zebra is, she was going to persevere through this situation, with or without him. To make matters worse, she discovered she was going to have twins!! Zebra had other health concerns, and carrying these babies to full term could’ve cost her life. It was THAT serious. But even at the doctor’s urging, she refused to have an abortion. I was totally confused. She would rather jeopardize her life. The lives of her two young girls. To have twins for some dead beat jackass that didn’t give a fuck if she lived or died? Where is the logic in that?!! I just couldn’t understand it.
Furthermore, if things do work out for the best, she will now be a single mother with 4 kids to raise. All this unnecessary drama just because she didn’t use birth control. She could’ve had a fling with the guy and not gotten pregnant. While I felt bad for her situation, I kept saying to myself “I am so glad I didn’t have sex with her. That could’ve been me”. Maybe she wanted it to be me. What if I had taking it farther with her that night? Would she have let me hit it raw dog? All this questions run through my head. See I had self restraint. Something a lot of men don’t have. So ladies, when you encounter a man with no restraint, you have to be the smart one in the situation. YOU have to be the one to insist that he wear a condom, or make sure you’re on birth control. Zebra didn’t do that. – So fast forward 8 months and Zebra’s pregnancy is going rough but almost over. The boyfriend has been M.I.A. for a few months now. He doesn’t have a clue as to what is going on. Apparently he doesn’t even care. And the worst happens. The pregnancy has affected her other problems and Zebra passes out. The doctors do emergency C-section to save the preemies. And by the grace of God, Zebra makes it through the ordeal alive. She has her life, her babies, but not much else. The boyfriend gets word of the birth and the near death ordeal for Zebra. The whole situation gave him a change of heart. A fucking wake up call. That she was more of a man than he would ever be. He didn’t know that she was willing to die to have his kids. What an asshole. But he vowed to be there for her and the kids, which indeed, turned out to be is.
Zebra is slowly getting back to full speed. She’s happy to have these newborns. That maternal instinct again. Now a single mom with 4 kids before the age of 30. Two different baby daddies. The now FORMER boyfriend will be given visitation and provide financial support. But she does not want him as a soulmate. I’m so glad she doesn’t. Some other women would’ve taken the guy back after all that bullshit. But, he showed his true colors and he has to live with that decision. Now that it’s all over, I wonder if she regrets the whole situation. Sleeping with the guy so soon. I know in her heart she still longs for a good man to be a part of her life. But that man can’t be me. I wish I would’ve met her before she had her first kid. Maybe things would be different today. That’s wishful thinking though…that’s not reality. Reality is that I can’t be her boyfriend, her soul mate, or her lover. All I can be is her friend.
As I said before, part of the reason I don’t date women with kids is because I now that I would become attached to them. I’d feel guilty neglecting them, while I get ass on a regular from their momma. Granted, most men wouldn’t give a damn. But that isn’t me. See, as you folks continue to read my blog, I want you to realize that although I say some harsh shit. I’m just venting. I’m really a nice guy who’s just lonely and tired of being ignored.
On one occasion, I came close to dating a woman with kids. Let’s call her Zebra. Zebra had a really cool personality. I enjoyed her conversation and company. I was physically attracted too her as well. She dug me as well. One problem…Zebra had two kids, 6 and 7 years old. She as a few years younger than me. A single mother struggling with her own issues, and trying to support her children. Their father was a deadbeat that only occasionally provided for them. Me and Zebra grew closer and one night while visiting her, we fooled around. No sexual intercourse, but things got steamy. She was a MILF, but I resisted the temptation to go through with it. After that night, I felt a little bad about what happened. I didn’t want things to go that far so soon. I had trouble looking at her the same. Before we fooled around, I had one mental picture of her. Yet afterwards, I felt like she made it too easy for me. Maybe she was just horny, lonely and needing a release. Maybe me too. Maybe she was more comfortable doing it with me than with just some random guy. All these maybes!! Uncertainty describes that whole situation. Afterwards, I couldn’t picture her in that wholesome way that I did before that night. Do I have a right to feel that way? If she’s a ho, then I would be just as much of a ho, right?
It seemed like that night had opposite effects on us. She became more direct with her intentions for me. I on the other hand, began to distance myself from her. She would call and ask if I wanted to spend the day with her and the girls. I would get invited to picnics, and outings. Every time I was “conveniently busy”. Part of me wanted to be there. But I knew I would become trapped in the “Instant Daddy Zone”. Again, the guilty conscience was taking over. I felt selfish, yet it was the right thing to do for me. She eventually started dating a new guy. We would keep in touch, though. She would tell me how things were going with the new guy, who himself was a single father. However, his child did not live with him. So he was free to do what he pleased with other women. After a short period of dating this guy, Zebra dropped a bombshell. The two most fearful words in the English language: “I’m pregnant”. I couldn’t believe it. She had gotten pregnant by a guy she barely knew. They had only dated for a short period. Maybe 3 or 4 months. Talk about disappointment and anger. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t more responsible. She already has 2 kids, why bring a third one into this world when you are struggling so hard. I was seeing right before my eyes, what happens to so many women today. It’s the consequences of poor decisions about the men they sleep with. Remember my rule…
In typical “sorry mutha fucker” fashion, the dude bailed out. The next nine months where hell for her. He tried his best to avoid contact. Denied that he couldn’t be the father. Being the strong woman that Zebra is, she was going to persevere through this situation, with or without him. To make matters worse, she discovered she was going to have twins!! Zebra had other health concerns, and carrying these babies to full term could’ve cost her life. It was THAT serious. But even at the doctor’s urging, she refused to have an abortion. I was totally confused. She would rather jeopardize her life. The lives of her two young girls. To have twins for some dead beat jackass that didn’t give a fuck if she lived or died? Where is the logic in that?!! I just couldn’t understand it.
Furthermore, if things do work out for the best, she will now be a single mother with 4 kids to raise. All this unnecessary drama just because she didn’t use birth control. She could’ve had a fling with the guy and not gotten pregnant. While I felt bad for her situation, I kept saying to myself “I am so glad I didn’t have sex with her. That could’ve been me”. Maybe she wanted it to be me. What if I had taking it farther with her that night? Would she have let me hit it raw dog? All this questions run through my head. See I had self restraint. Something a lot of men don’t have. So ladies, when you encounter a man with no restraint, you have to be the smart one in the situation. YOU have to be the one to insist that he wear a condom, or make sure you’re on birth control. Zebra didn’t do that. – So fast forward 8 months and Zebra’s pregnancy is going rough but almost over. The boyfriend has been M.I.A. for a few months now. He doesn’t have a clue as to what is going on. Apparently he doesn’t even care. And the worst happens. The pregnancy has affected her other problems and Zebra passes out. The doctors do emergency C-section to save the preemies. And by the grace of God, Zebra makes it through the ordeal alive. She has her life, her babies, but not much else. The boyfriend gets word of the birth and the near death ordeal for Zebra. The whole situation gave him a change of heart. A fucking wake up call. That she was more of a man than he would ever be. He didn’t know that she was willing to die to have his kids. What an asshole. But he vowed to be there for her and the kids, which indeed, turned out to be is.
Zebra is slowly getting back to full speed. She’s happy to have these newborns. That maternal instinct again. Now a single mom with 4 kids before the age of 30. Two different baby daddies. The now FORMER boyfriend will be given visitation and provide financial support. But she does not want him as a soulmate. I’m so glad she doesn’t. Some other women would’ve taken the guy back after all that bullshit. But, he showed his true colors and he has to live with that decision. Now that it’s all over, I wonder if she regrets the whole situation. Sleeping with the guy so soon. I know in her heart she still longs for a good man to be a part of her life. But that man can’t be me. I wish I would’ve met her before she had her first kid. Maybe things would be different today. That’s wishful thinking though…that’s not reality. Reality is that I can’t be her boyfriend, her soul mate, or her lover. All I can be is her friend.
posted by Raven Vexation at 3:08 AM
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