#21 Jane Deere

#21 Jane Deere

For the second time in a month, a blast from the past has re-entered the scene. Another female that I longed to become a girlfriend, and yet I had the unfortunate prison sentence in the friend zone. I’ll call her Jane Deere. Unlike Automobile, who I fell out of touch with after about a year of separation, me and Jane Deere have always kept in touch through phone calls and emails. A year or two may go past without us meeting, but we always managed to keep in touch somehow. Recently, we chatted over dinner. I’m glad we did. Jane Deere has been going through some tough times, and I’m happy I was there to lend her an ear in her time of need.

I first met Jane Deere 6 years ago. We worked in the same building for different companies. Twice daily, I’d stop by to chat with her in department. From the first time I met her I was mesmerized. Jane Deere was one of the prettiest white girls I had met in my life. Her body was incredibly voluptuous. She was short and thick. I’m sure by white boy standards a bit too chubby. But, in fact, this girl wasn’t chubby at all. She was buxom. Great ass. She had curves to die for and I had a serious crush on her. And to top it all off she had a pretty face.

It’s funny that our friendship has lasted this long. I only worked for that company maybe three months tops. The job itself sucked ASS. Seeing Jane Deere everyday was the only reason why I even bothered showing up. Once I decided I was going to leave the job, getting Jane Deere’s phone number before leaving became priority number one. I timed my resignation to coincide with my birthday. What a present it would be for me to get her phone number. In the weeks leading up to the big day, I did my best to befriend her. I found out we shared similar tastes in music. Unfortunately, at the time she had a boyfriend. But everyday that I seen her, that fact became increasingly irrelevant. Even if she had a man, I wanted to be the next man in line. If he ever fucked up, I wanted to be that replacement.

So the day came. I was nervous. My shift was over and I made my way into her department. Sucked it up and came at her with the realest talk I could muster. I let her know how I was absolutely attracted to her, and although I knew she had a man, I wanted her phone number. I wanted to strike up a long term friendship. After all, they say the best relationships start as friendships. We’ll that birthday was a good day, because I did indeed get her phone number. Six years later, we’re still friends.

And during those six years, I’ve seen her go through several phases. I’ve seen the boyfriends come and go. The recovery periods when she just wanted to leave all men alone. The flings and the fuck ups. I’ve seen it all. But unfortunately when she was single, I was involved or vice versa. We were never on the same page at the same time. In addition, there was this “little” problem of interracial dating. She knew her family would not approve, and when we first met, she had not dated any Black men before. I was determined to show her that we aren’t all bad. That she shouldn’t be influenced by the negative stereotypes. Over the years, she did warm up to dating Black men. Hell, she got so much attention from Black men because of her figure, it was inevitable. However, all the while, she would keep these relationships secret from her family. I also questioned her ability to spot a good brother. Being that she was so inexperienced, I didn’t want to see her get taken advantage by a guy that really didn’t have her best intentions at heart. Unfortunately that’s exactly what happened.

Jane Deere just got out of the most abusive relationship she’s ever been in. She was involved with a Black guy who abused her physically and emotionally. A thug whose mood swings bordered on Bipolar Disorder. Sure, he had a sob story that stole her heart. Grew up in a broken home. Abuse. Raised by the streets. You know the same things we always hear. But in Jane Deere’s heart she felt that he was trying to do his best. That all he needed was someone to believe in him. She kept reassuring me that this guy was worth her time. Even worth estranging herself from her family. Sure enough, when her family found out, the “us or him” ultimatum came down. Even though he had already begun to show signs of being an asshole, she chose him over her own family. A move that would cost her dearly. See, this thug was very controlling, insecure, and unappreciative. He had a history of beating his ex-girlfriends. But he assured her he would never do anything to her. Yeah right. A leopard can’t change his spots. The statistics are too strong. Men like that don’t change. At least not without proper counseling. And this guy definitely had not had any. Once again, that “save ‘em” mentality of women kicked in. Damn, I wish there was a way to turn that shit off.

So after months of neglect and being taken advantage of, she finally gained the courage to leave him. Well, a few death threats will do that to you. It’s crazy that she took him back after the first one. You’d think that would be one time too many. Hmm. Add turning off forgiveness to that wish list…Anyway, now she is putting her life back together. She’s lost friends, property and family over this loser. I told her, just learn from this and move on.

Ultimately, I want her to understand that this was one Black man. A sorry excuse for one, that doesn’t represent us all. This derelict could’ve been of any race. I guess deep down, I don’t want her to let this experience deter her from dating Black men again. She told me that it won’t. I hope this is true. Because there is still one Black man right in front of her that deserves a chance. Who knows what the future will bring. Seeing her stirred up some of those old emotions I had when I first met her. She’s still a beautiful woman. Maybe this time she’ll make the right choice.