#26 Another Statistic?
#26 Another Statistic?
I was at one of my favorite buffalo wing spots the other night. Sitting waiting patiently for some spicy garlic wings when a couple walked in. Interracial, black dude & white chick. He was a slim brother. Dressed casual. She was rather portly, lol. No, I’m hating on thick chicks. I like a woman with some weight. But what she was wearing was more suited for a woman about 100 Lbs. slimmer. I’m talking a very short skirt. Her large milky legs resembled cottage cheese. Her size 11 feet were stuffed into a pair of sexy heels. A low cut shirt showed off her double deez. And even though she wasn’t the most attractive chick, you can tell she was doing her best to work what she had. She was trying to look sexy for her man. And they seemed to be having a good time.
While I watched them I began to think about how that guy could’ve easily been me.
Seems like lately all I seem to attract is plus sized white chicks.
A part of me was jealous of the good time they seemed to be having.
The quality of these recent white chicks have varied in degree. Some educated and ambitious. Others uneducated rednecks. Varying weights from slightly chubby to morbidly obese. I’m talkin about pushing 350 lbs.
Now I’m not the slimmest guy myself. So don’t get it twisted. I’m not being shallow about this. But one of my biggest fears is to be that brother with the fat white chick.
Against my better judgment and maybe out of pure loneliness I’ve dated a few of these chicks. A movie here. A concert there. After all it was either go with them or go alone. And I get so tired of missing out on festivals because I don’t have any one to go with. It’s not like any black women are jumping at the opportunity.
More than a few of these thick chicks realized what they had in front of them. A good black man. One in particular freaked me out. Within a few weeks of dating this chick, she utters the words “I love you”. I was like WHAT? I of course would acknowledge this with a confused half hearted smile. But what I wouldn’t do was say I love you back. That would be flat out lying. I just couldn’t understand why she would feel so deeply for me, when we had only gone out a few times. To me, it takes more then a month to fall in love with someone.
Needless to say, I stopped going out with that chick. I felt a little bad. Here I had a chick in front of me, claiming to LOVE me. That very thing that I’ve been longing for, and yet I can’t give her or any of these women my heart. Some of them I was even attracted to and enjoyed their company. But I just couldn’t let my guard down. I couldn’t become that STATISTIC. I would feel like a failure to my mother. My family, my community, and myself. All that Black pride. That Black consciousness just flushed down the toilet. What a hypocritical militant I would be. And just to play devil’s advocate, who’s to say that I wouldn’t be any less innocent if the white chick was thin and attractive. Or better yet, not white at all, but maybe Hispanic or Asian.
For some reason, I can reconcile in my own heart with being exclusively with that slimmer white woman or that Latina. But for her to be that fat white chick, I can’t do it. I just can’t do it. I hope a new group of women take a liking to me. Something has to break this chain.
I was at one of my favorite buffalo wing spots the other night. Sitting waiting patiently for some spicy garlic wings when a couple walked in. Interracial, black dude & white chick. He was a slim brother. Dressed casual. She was rather portly, lol. No, I’m hating on thick chicks. I like a woman with some weight. But what she was wearing was more suited for a woman about 100 Lbs. slimmer. I’m talking a very short skirt. Her large milky legs resembled cottage cheese. Her size 11 feet were stuffed into a pair of sexy heels. A low cut shirt showed off her double deez. And even though she wasn’t the most attractive chick, you can tell she was doing her best to work what she had. She was trying to look sexy for her man. And they seemed to be having a good time.
While I watched them I began to think about how that guy could’ve easily been me.
Seems like lately all I seem to attract is plus sized white chicks.
A part of me was jealous of the good time they seemed to be having.
The quality of these recent white chicks have varied in degree. Some educated and ambitious. Others uneducated rednecks. Varying weights from slightly chubby to morbidly obese. I’m talkin about pushing 350 lbs.
Now I’m not the slimmest guy myself. So don’t get it twisted. I’m not being shallow about this. But one of my biggest fears is to be that brother with the fat white chick.
Against my better judgment and maybe out of pure loneliness I’ve dated a few of these chicks. A movie here. A concert there. After all it was either go with them or go alone. And I get so tired of missing out on festivals because I don’t have any one to go with. It’s not like any black women are jumping at the opportunity.
More than a few of these thick chicks realized what they had in front of them. A good black man. One in particular freaked me out. Within a few weeks of dating this chick, she utters the words “I love you”. I was like WHAT? I of course would acknowledge this with a confused half hearted smile. But what I wouldn’t do was say I love you back. That would be flat out lying. I just couldn’t understand why she would feel so deeply for me, when we had only gone out a few times. To me, it takes more then a month to fall in love with someone.
Needless to say, I stopped going out with that chick. I felt a little bad. Here I had a chick in front of me, claiming to LOVE me. That very thing that I’ve been longing for, and yet I can’t give her or any of these women my heart. Some of them I was even attracted to and enjoyed their company. But I just couldn’t let my guard down. I couldn’t become that STATISTIC. I would feel like a failure to my mother. My family, my community, and myself. All that Black pride. That Black consciousness just flushed down the toilet. What a hypocritical militant I would be. And just to play devil’s advocate, who’s to say that I wouldn’t be any less innocent if the white chick was thin and attractive. Or better yet, not white at all, but maybe Hispanic or Asian.
For some reason, I can reconcile in my own heart with being exclusively with that slimmer white woman or that Latina. But for her to be that fat white chick, I can’t do it. I just can’t do it. I hope a new group of women take a liking to me. Something has to break this chain.
posted by Raven Vexation at 12:52 AM
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